yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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