my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
