is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
