I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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