My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
