Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
