i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
