So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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