On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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