hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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