I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
