that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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