we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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