Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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