24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
