This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
