is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
