these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
