Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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