Will you blow on my dice?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
