and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize