Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
