I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
