while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
