If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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