They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
