And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
