so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
