I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
