margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
high people should be assigned attendants
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize