I puked a lego.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
