we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
