Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
