I can text with my tongue
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize