Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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