I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
