so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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