i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
