Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's blow job season.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
