I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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