Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
