FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
