You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
