I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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