i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
