weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
