i don't like sucking hair
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
