is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
