let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
