Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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