No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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