would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
