if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
