Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
