Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize