what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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