me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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