you would pick up someone in the library
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
