so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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