After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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